What is Dissociation and how to heal

Dissociation - To me, the term represents chaos, confusion, and a sense of being out of control, an inner imbalance filled with unanswered “why” questions. People often say things like, “I’m going through a lot, but it doesn’t affect me,” or “I feel numb, immune to it all,” which are signs of emotional disconnect rather than true resilience. It’s not that they aren’t affected, but that they’ve become detached from their own feelings as a way to cope.

What is it- Sometimes, when life feels overwhelming and we don’t feel connected to ourselves, things can start to feel confusing and out of control. We may feel lost, unsure of our direction, or like everything around us is falling apart. This sense of disconnection often happens in stages:

1. “I’d rather not deal with it” – We begin by avoiding what’s uncomfortable or painful. It feels easier to push things aside than to face them.

2. “It’s too much, so I’m shutting off” – As things pile up, we emotionally or mentally shut down. We cut ourselves off from the world because it feels too heavy to handle.

3. “I’m fine, I’m above all this” – We might still feel off but tell ourselves we're strong enough to get through it alone. We know something isn’t right, but we don’t fully understand it, and we try to push through without support.

Why it happens- 

Things around us can get overwhelming, especially in the overly demanding world we live in. We get so hooked on the idea of becoming that ideal person in society that we forget who we are. We might be overtly giving, unsure of ourselves, and feel not competent enough ,  the ability to even make a choice might be missing. It might be a slow, gradual process of losing ourselves, or a sudden one ,like a traumatic situation that changes us forever.

Why do we let this happen to us?As we depend on others for our survival (root chakra) needs, we are also looking to develop hope and optimism (As explained in Eriksonian stages of development- stage 1). When these needs are met, we grow into safe, secure, and balanced individuals. Otherwise, inadequacies, feelings of incapability and fear take the front seat and start driving our behavior. We are no longer flowing, we are acting out of fear and constantly seeking approval from others. It's like carrying people on our back all the time, which is extremely heavy and exhausting. Eventually, you get tired, at some point or another,  depending on how long you've been fighting it.

Then one day, there might be an emotional breakdown, or your mental or physical health takes a toll that seems to come out of nowhere, leaving you and your family confused and concerned. “I’ve been so strong. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I can still pull through this. I don’t need anyone. I can handle it. What will others say?” These questions arise. Only when you're ready to understand that it's beyond you, and that you might need help, do you allow yourself to try. Some may not be that fortunate and continue to decline. Mindfulness and mental health awareness are gaining momentum and spreading but shame around approaching health practitioners is still a big concern. While dissociation is a wide term, it helps explain why we experience life the way we do.

Choosing not to acknowledge an experience, whether due to a lack of understanding, sudden shock, or the influence of people we depend on mentally, emotionally, or physically, often leads us to dissociate. We unconsciously create a mental world that feels safer or more manageable than the reality we're facing. After all, no one likes to experience pain or discomfort, right? So we stop fully feeling in our bodies and instead stay in our minds—leading to patterns like daydreaming, overthinking, and procrastination.

This disconnect causes mental fatigue because our thoughts are constantly running while our bodies are left out of the process. When we don't allow ourselves to feel and release emotions through the body, the body has no choice but to store that unresolved emotional “baggage.” Over time, the mind becomes overloaded, and we fall into a state of imbalance. This opens the door to issues like hormonal imbalances, brain fog, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, and other physical and mental health conditions. You may start feeling lost, forgetful, and unable to absorb, retain, or retrieve information effectively.

How can we deal with it - Grounding exercises, mindfulness, bodywork, regular movement, quality sleep and breathwork are powerful tools that help bring your awareness back to yourself and to your body. These practices gently shift your focus from the overactive, survival-driven sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) to the calming, restorative parasympathetic response, a state of relaxation, presence, and safety.

At first, this shift may feel uncomfortable. It can bring up emotions or experiences you've been avoiding. But with awareness comes the power to process, release and heal. As you begin to feel safe in your own body again you re-establish the mind-body connection. This balance supports the integration of both the logical (left-brain) and intuitive (right-brain) aspects of your being allowing stuck emotions to be released and long-lost inner resources to return.

With time, your current self, the one who’s healing, becomes strong enough to hold and support the part of you that has been hurting the most. This is where inner child work becomes deeply important: offering compassion, care, and safety to the younger, wounded version of you.

Healing doesn’t have to happen alone. Reach out to a therapist, counselor, or doctor who truly understands trauma-informed care. Build a support system of friends, groups, or communities, who are walking similar paths. Simply knowing that you are not alone can bring immense relief. It opens you up to giving and receiving support, which is central to human healing.

As social beings, we learn, grow, and transform through connection. Healing happens in relationships with ourselves and others. So if you're reading this, know that you are not alone. Speak to someone who sees you. And if others around you cannot meet you where you are, understand they may not have the awareness yet to do so and that’s not your burden to carry.

Abundance, healing, and light are available to everyone, including you. Ask for it. Allow it in. Soak in it . And once you do so, you become part of the force that spreads healing, simply by being your whole, healed self. I am a part of that  force and you can be too.